Juz to add

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_24rckdBPI

This thai song is by prik thai who is famous for the song rak sam sao.

After watching this video, it really make me very sad, tam phom ru suek sia jai mak.

I mean i think about the times i cheated on my gf, and how she would feel if she knew about it.. Our relationship is really on the rocks and we even nearly broke up last week, i told myself if she wanted a breakup then thats it. Its time to focus on my life now, since its in wreaks. She ended up pleading with me not to go, she really said somethings that make me feel wierd, made me cried. Really dunno where all this is going..

OH YAH! Juz got my PSP GO! from junjie for FUCKING $50SGD HOW COOL IS THAT! So happy, so rip off! wakakakka

Have a good weekend guys

Running good

Last week i made ~ 1.5k at the 1/2 tables, ran pretty good and definately happy with my play. I think losing 7k the previous week was a good wake up call for me. I mean although i was playing much much higher, i did not really feel any stress, and i was juz counting everything in bb. But i definately ran bad and could have played better. Anyway, this week on monday i was up another 1.5kusd ish, went to camp feeling like a champ. Camp was okay juz very basic stuff. Booked out, dropped that 1.5k almost immeditely at 1/2, and my backer berated me again. I was so fucking sick of all this and i kinda told him how i felt. Since then he has been nicer to me. He even agreed to lend me the money i wanted to borrow and i am really very grateful for that. It changed my opinion of him ALOT. I guess that leads to this weeks overall score to be up 1850 ish.

Also, i will be flying off to taiwan for till the end of the month on friday, really feel that i will do much better if i could stay in sg.

Mentality wise, i feel that poker is really like a job to me now, i feel like a pro player! Im more of telling myself, look you have to play now, dun waste time. And i dun really like YES I GET TO PLAY POKER. Its just so different. Putting in effort to watch cardrunners and 2+2 ing alot, basically doing what i can do to improve. I feel i've never had a chance to really play full-time without any distractions. Although still in for alot of makeup, im sure it will end soon the rate im going. Im a steamroller baby!

Oh yah, watched ironman 2 yesterday with junjie, pretty good. Cleared part of the debt those people were hounding me, hopefully i can end this week on a good note!

Cliffnotes:
+1.480 last week
+1850 this week (for now)
flying to taiwan till the end of the month on friday
settled some debts
backer aceeded to my request

Trying to get back on track

Gonna start this blog to post my poker adventures, and also to keep track of what i've done so far. I'm down $19000SGD and $4865USD now, i have a long way to go. As of now, my backer has given me a last chance so i will be playing NL200 on a small site. I will be tracking my wins/losses and also posting hands to improve my play. I gotta pull myself together for my girlfriend, poker is the only thing i know how to do, i have dedicated so much time to it. 3 years and still like this, seriously wtf. I duno why my people have so little respect for me, maybe its the things i do.. i duno man, maybe im juz too young to be involved in all this bloodshed. I put in so many hours every week when i book out only to end up losing more and more money, its absurd. Why didnt i juz continue school and now be a naive army boy who enjoys going out, clubbing, playing computer games when i book out? Why must i be this fucking tard who spends 30 hours a week playing poker? Book out on friday night and book in on sunday night, thats only like ~50hours. I think i am up there already, but my backer dosen't feel that way. I know my results are bad.. It has always been like this, even in school. Im good but i juz cant produce results.. this is a major life leak, will think about it this week.

On a brighter note, the BKK girl who's in love with me will be coming to singapore this weekend so i'll probably get an open goal =D but i got guard duty this week, fucked up.

On the other hand, this sat/sun is my gf's birthday, feel bad i can't be with her but given my current condition, i should be more worried about myself. Fuck im not even ready to have a gf. Oh well, i guess this bad part of my life will be over soon..