MONKEY TILTED!

And so i was running like damn bad losing ~800 in 100 hands, really damn bad. Tilted and took it to 5/10 and lost it all. Seriously this is damn bad man. 12kUSD in makeup, and 20k in debts is no longer a joking matter. This is so fucking sick man. Im damn angry that i went to monkey tilt the money, and the amount is getting really big. 12kusd oh my fucking god man. Imagine someone giving me this amount in cash to play. wtf? I should start appreciating the people who are good to me who are around me.. Maybe now i understand why my backer gets so pissed sometimes. If i were him, i probably would be damn fucking angry i mean wtf 12k now is getting insane.

Anyway, still gonna fly to taiwan on friday, hope this trip does me good. I haven't even packed yet. I keep complaining i have nothing to do.. but i never ever do things that i NEED to do.. maybe that is why there's so many things at the back of my head which is what kills. I mean i watched quite a few videos where the instructors play live, i mean i make exactly the same decisions they make juz that my bet sizing is probably different. Thats the only problem now. I really move to exploit people when i play now, i feel playing 2-4 tables is so much +EV for me as compared to me 9+ tabling. I really exploit max. I shouldn't be trying to do what OTHER people are doing, ie. 16 tabling, etc. I should be focusing on my strengths, 2-4 tabling, definately at a lower win-rate but HEY thats is what i am capable at the moment of, WINNING. IF only i had stuck to the initial plan from the start, there would be no problem. Ahhh not everyone in this world is given chances, i still have a little chance here, i should definately make this good.

I feel blogging is so much better, i really feel much more calm as compared to last time, not so rash, not so angry. haha, its juz wierd! I feel 1 big problem is i really get affected by all these bad beats sometimes especially when i make a good play.

villian is seemingly tight, juz sat down not much info but he has folded quite abit.
6-max blinds are 1/2
hero is in btn and is dealt 88

utg calls $2
co folds
hero raise $8
sb folds
bb(villian) raise $24
utg folds
hero calls $16

Pot: ~$51
Flop: 6 7 9 rainbow
Villian bet $27
Hero call $27

Turn: 2, Pot: ~$100
Villian checks with $142 behind
Hero bets $38
Villian raise $142
Hero fistpump snap CALLLLLLLL

Villian shows AQo and the river, sure enough Q

I didnt raise the flop because i would be raising, getting it in against him if he had better, and he could almost not have worse then me there unless its a bluff which would not call the raise. So i elected a call in this spot, bringing it to the turn to re-evaluate, theres so many possibilities. Turn was a total blank, i felt he is never checking his over pairs here on such a scary board and the bet-sizing also leans towards me believing his range includes random semi-bluffs and total air after he checked the turn, so i fucking hell bet so fuicking small to induce a shove from him with whatever bullshit he has cuz i felt he never ever has a set in this spot, he's not that good to put me on a hand, know what i will do on the turn etc. So i induced a shove and WHAT? he hit his 12%. This is crap man wtf. If only i was not so good, ie i bet bigger, i would have taken it down. If i was worse, i check and juz call his river bet or maybe even fold IDK. but at most im calling his river bet and i will save quite abit. BUT WTF NO!!!!!! HE must, whatever. Den i got set over set in a really awkward spot. oh well

I think capability wise, IM DEFINATELY over qualified for the job, but still i can work at this limit, at this site but i need to train my mental power. I gotta start having more discipline. This is so important to any poker player. Hope i can hit the nl400 tables when im back from taiwan to salvage whatever i can!

Thats all for now... GOOD LUCK